Envy, Identity & the Courage to Celebrate Others 010

I used to have a chip on my shoulder the size of a lumber rack.

And ironically… I had one of those too.

At my private college, there were lots of BMWs and muscle cars and I was the only one rolling onto campus with tools in the back.

See, I wasn’t just going to school. I was working weekends, nights, early mornings—bridging the gap between financial aid and real life.

That chip? It started back in high school - A Catholic school where a lot of kids had money.

We drove a beater or rode bikes.

They skied in Mammoth, vacationed in Maui.

We went camping.

And I started telling myself a story:

“They had it easy. I had to fight for everything.”

At first, I wore it like a badge.

But eventually, it turned into something else—

a kind of pride that couldn’t celebrate other people’s wins.

Maybe you’ve felt that.

That edge, the quiet resistance when someone else is thriving.

That voice that says, “Must be nice…”

Here’s the hard truth, though:

Envy doesn’t just make you bitter—it ‘drives out the presence of God.’

“Saul was afraid of David, because the Lord was with David but had departed from Saul.”

— 1 Samuel 18:12

You see, the Lord didn’t leave Saul for no reason. Saul closed the door with jealousy.

His insecure fear couldn’t handle another man’s success.

David didn’t compete for the Father’s love, though - he knew he already had it, that he was born with it.

David carried himself with humility and gave credit to God.

And that is what made him a king worth following.

⸻

This weekend, a few questions for the bench:

1 - Is there someone in your life you’ve silently resented for having it “easier”?

2 - Have you minimized someone else’s success because of your own story?

3 - Is there someone you could go out of your way to congratulate this weekend?

4 - Or maybe someone you need to find the courage to apologize to?

The wounds of feeling like you’ve been overlooked, given the short end of the stick, didn’t have most-favored-son status with your earthly father can run deep.

You have the power, the love of your real Father, to stop this sin from tumbling from generation to generation.

It starts with a DECISION today, ACTION this weekend.

When you realize you don’t have to compete for your Fathers love, you’re finally free to celebrate someone else’s victory without feeling like you’ve lost anything.

It’s hard, holy work, but it’s the kind that keeps your heart soft.

Because this life?

It’s not about you.